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Rechercher (un mot minimum)
Titre Par Date
INCONNU Sun, December 28, 2003 11:51
UN HOMME VA AU MAGASIN POUR ACHETER UN CERVEAU ET IL DEMANDE A LE VENDEUR COMBIEN COUTE LES CERVEAU? -LE VENDEUR LUI DIT LE PREMIER CERVEAU C'EST UN CERVEAU DE ASIATIQUE EST SA COUTE 10$ LE 2 C UN CERVEAU DE EUROPEEN EST SA COUTE 20$ ET LE DERNIER C UN CERVEAU DE NOIR EST SA COUTE 200$ -L'HOMME LUI DIT POURQUOI LE CERVEAU DES NOIRS EST CHER COMME SA -LE VENDEUR LUI DIT PCQ C LE MOINS UTILISER
 7
Titre Par Date
clément Wed, December 24, 2003 13:52
Quel est la différence entre une femme et du café? Il n'y en a pas car au départ ça exite et aprés ca énerve .
 9
Titre Par Date
les blondes siva Tue, December 23, 2003 13:45
pourquoi les blondes ont des yeux bleus? parce leur tête est rempli d'eau et rien d'otre
 5
Titre Par Date
Les gars Jeyarajah Tue, December 16, 2003 9:34
Quel est la difference entre une église et un garçon? C'est que l'église elle est consacrée. Et les garçons sont sacrécon.
 29
Titre Par Date
Blagues Granger Tue, November 30, 1999 0:00
Qu'est ce qui est jaune sur l'autaroute? REPONSE:C'est un chinois écrasé , bien sûr !!!!!!!!!!!
 4
Titre Par Date
blague kuna Tue, November 30, 1999 0:00
la mere a toto a 3 enfant le 1er:s'appelle pim ,le deuxieme s'appelle pam ,et le troisieme s'appelle comment? reponse: pas poum mais toto!!!!!!!
 3
Titre Par Date
l'homme qui meurt hahaha prade Tue, November 30, 1999 0:00
C'est l'histoire d'un mec qui se prend un coup de couteau dans la rue. Il commence a perdre abondamment son sang, il tombe par terre, genre au bord du coma, commence a ramper dans la rue en gemissant et en essayant de trouver du secours. Soudain il apercoit une pharmacie ouverte. Il se dit "Ca y est je suis sauve !". Il puise dans ses dernieres forces pour se trainer tant bien que mal jusqu'au comptoir. Toujours au bord de l'evanouissement, il s'adresse au pharmacien : "SVP, aidez-moi, je suis en train de mourir, je me suis pris un coup de couteau, ca va vraiment pas, etc...". Le pharmacien, placide: "Non, je suis desole, la il est 19 heures, et je ferme". L'autre qui n'en revient pas repart a la charge: "Pitie, pitie, dit-il, je vais mourir ! je vais mourir, faites quelque chose pour moi !". Alors le pharmacien, "Bon, OK, d'accord". Il fait le tour du comptoir, sort le couteau du ventre du mec, lui plante sauvagement dans l'oeil, et lui dit: "Allez chez l'opticien en face, c'est ouvert jusqu'a 19h30 !".
 1
Titre Par Date
ANGE Tue, November 30, 1999 0:00
Si seulement dans tes yeux Je lisais le mot "amour" Si seulement de tes lèvres sensuelles S'échappait un "je t'aime" passionné Si seulement tes bras Pouvaient me retenir prisonnière Juste le temps d'un baiser
 3
Titre Par Date
Prédictions Zoulou Tue, November 30, 1999 0:00
Middle class women of a certain age patrol the streets with big hair and small dogs, guarding against any threat to their boutiques and chocolate shops. Some are wearing fur on a mild spring day. And Marie-France Buisson echoes what I have heard elsewhere - that there is little interest in the election because the two leading candidates, Lionel Jospin and Jacques Chirac, are two sides of the same coin."There is not much feeling of hope in France," she says, "nothing different is on offer anywhere." Even crime, the only issue which has even begun to register nationally, is not a real concern here. The apathy which has gripped the country to an unprecedented level is evident here, in the heart of France, as well as in the big cities. One woman who professes herself moderately interested in the election cannot name a single campaign issue. Another mentions crime, but says it's a question for France in general, not here. Abstention Many people are not planning to bother voting at all. Another theory offered to me is that France's relative prosperity has lulled voters into a kind of trance. "People everywhere are seeing the economy as more important than politics. If they have enough money they are happy," one public relations worker says. "Chirac was on the radio the other morning, and even I, as a former political journalist, wasn't the slightest bit interested." Widespread cynicism has also tainted public attitudes. The rot set in more than a decade ago after revelations of corruption in French political funding, and voters' trust has yet to be won back. At least here in central France people will admit that corruption bothers them - unlike in the north where everyone seems to accept it as part of life. But otherwise the election seems to be barely registering here. Vichy, if not where East meets West, is certainly where North meets South - it is in the frontier territory where the old language of the south, Oc, reached its most northern limits, and the French language petered out. At the crossroads of France, though, France does not seem to be at a crossroads. People are just getting on with their lives. This being Vichy, there's a lecture tonight on colonic irrigation. See you there at six. The presidential election campaign in France has started in earnest. A record number of 16 candidates - 12 men and four women - have gathered the 500 signatures from elected officials needed to run in the first round of voting on 21 April. The crowded field is a clear sign of ennui or annoyance with the leadership of those who have run France in "cohabitation" for the past five years. Quite a few outsiders fell at this first hurdle, failing to collect the necessary number of backers. They include at least one well-known name - Charles Pasqua, a former Gaullist who heads his own Eurosceptic party There were also some wacky political unknowns, such as a striptease artist and a dog called Saucisse (Sausage) which took four percent in a local election in Marseille last year. But the two big names are safely there. One is Jacques Chirac, the incumbent president and leader of the neo-Gaullist Rally for the Republic. He is described in the press as a "lovable rogue". The other is Lionel Jospin, the socialist prime minister and former Trotskyite who is trying to break out of his current image as a bit of a dry stick. Those two front-runners are almost sure to go through for a head-to-head duel in the second voting round on 5 May. Political extremes After them comes a gloriously mixed crew of hopefuls from the extreme poles of French politics and the deepest of France's backwoods. Among them are three who hope to win 10% or more of the total vote. One is the veteran right-winger and founder of the National Front, Jean-Marie Le Pen, now 73 years old. He is a former parachutist who is still hungry for victory. This is in spite of the severe damage to his image from a past conviction for assault against a political opponent, and the defection of many of his party members behind his much more suave rival Bruno Megret, who also made the list of candidates. The second is Jean-Pierre Chevenement, a former close ally of Lionel Jospin, who quit the cabinet in protest at plans (which never came to fruition) to let the island of Corsica go down the road towards self-government, amid a campaign of political violence by Corsican separatists. As a left-wing nationalist, he once looked like mounting a serious challenge for France's top job, but is now in danger of being lost in the crowd. The third plucky challenger generates strong passions both for and against her fiery brand of revolutionary communism. Arlette Laguiller of the Workers' Struggle Party uses the language of Marx and Trotsky to denounce "capitalist exploitation" and the "decadence" of French society. Fringe candidates If opinion polls are to be believed, these three iconoclasts might well pick up a third of the total vote in round one, in a stinging public rebuke to the mainstream parties and their candidates. Other fringe candidates with clear-cut goals include Jean Saint-Josse, head of the Hunting, Fishing, Nature and Tradition Party, who wants France to reject European Union rules limiting tRobert Hue, official candidate of the French Communist Party, is making his second stab at the presidency. Francois Bayou for the centre-right Union of French Democracy risks setting the seal on his party's decline. Radical Anglo-Saxon-style economic reform is on offer from Alain Madelin, a former minister who lacks a popular base for his Liberal Democracy party. Noel Mamere is holding high the banner of the Greens. Christiane Taubira, a radical deputy from French Guiana, is the only black candidate. Close race Some commentators deplore the high level of support for authoritarian or dogmatic leaders. Others rage at the "closed" political system which has produced numerous corruption scandals and a pair of front-runners who have been blamed for France's current state. Barring the unforeseen, the "small candidates" will all be eliminated in the first round. They could still tip the final outcome by urging their followers to back one or the other of the two big names. But it is unclear whether Mr Chirac or Mr Jospin will benefit more from such endorsements. The race between the two big candidates still looks very close indeed. Guardian Similarity breeds contempt of French voters Jon Henley in Paris Saturday April 6, 2002 The Guardian The constitutional council formally declared France's presidential race open at midnight yesterday just as polls projected that Lionel Jospin, the Socialist prime minister, would scrabble to a narrow second-round victory - by two to four points - over his conservative rival, the incumbent Jacques Chirac. More revealing, however, was the polls' confirmation that barely 40% of the French electorate is currently prepared to vote for one of the leading candidates in the first round ballot on April 21 - the lowest level of support for the two front-runners in French electoral history. The Socialists and the Gaullists, who with their respective allies have between them run France for more than 40 years, are apparently neither credible nor even distinguishable enough to prevent a dis illusioned electorate from voting for one of the 14 other candidates that the council announced had qualified for the first round. There are plenty of reasons for this. The two top contenders are depressingly familiar to French voters. Mr Chirac, 69, has been in the front row of French politics for four decades while Mr Jospin, 65, is a Socialist figurehead of many years' standing. Both have been around for long enough to have broken a lot of electoral promises. Inevitable The public is also weary of the sheer inevitability of this contest. The 1995 presidential race was also between Mr Chirac and Mr Jospin and the two men have been rehearsing for a repeat performance ever since the president rashly dissolved parliament in 1997, ushering in a Socialist-led government under Mr Jospin and con demning himself to five years of painful cohabitation. Added to the combination of two over-familiar candidates and a foregone conclusion to the first-round result (the progression of Mr Jospin and Mr Chirac to the second-round run-off on May 5) is the depressing similarity of the two main candidates' programmes. "There is a real problem in understanding the differences between Chirac and Jospin in this campaign," said one pollster, Philippe Méchet. "The campaign is confusing the voters. People are turning to anyone original, even if they're a Trotskyist." Arlette Laguiller, of the Workers' Struggle party, which preaches the dictatorship of the proletariat, is currently running equal third in first-round voting intentions. The similarities extend even to the titles of the two rivals' manifestos: Mr Chirac's, a 24-page brochure distributed to 12m people, is entitled "My commitment to France", while Mr Jospin's, a 40-page pamphlet in 8m copies, is called "I commit myself". Inside the covers, both men pledge to create a new ministry to combat France's rising crime rate and both promise to improve environmental protection, boost competitiveness, limit the negative effects of globalisation, cut taxes and reduce unemployment. Both also pledge - although in such vague terms as to be all but incomprehensible - to do something about perhaps the most pressing problem facing France: its pension system, which relies on an ever-falling number of tax-paying workers to pay for an ever-rising number of retirees. Overall, Mr Jospin is looking to please the workers with extra training, a back-to-work deal for the over-50s and lower taxes for the lowest paid, while Mr Chirac is after their bosses, with cuts in income tax and social charges as well as extra help to create a million new firms and a relaxation of the 35-hour working week. Unrealistic But even where the platforms do differ significantly, the candidates' campaign promises appear unrealistic: Mr Chirac's critics say he will need at least €50bn (£30bn) to fund his plan to cut taxes by 33% over the next five years, while Mr Jospin's opponents wonder where the money will come from to create his promised 900,000 new jobs. The main explanation for such strangely insipid and similar programmes is simple: with the French electorate evenly divided between them, the two candidates know they have to appeal primarily to the centre ground. That is, for example, why Mr Jospin mentions the word Socialist only once in his manifesto, and has even said his platform is "not a Socialist one". Mr Chirac, on the other hand, vaunts such traditional leftwing values as solidarity and concern for the environment. But while striving to appeal to the middle, both men are also aware that they cannot go so off-message as to offend their own camps. Mr Jospin must keep Greens and Communists on his side because he needs their votes once their own candidates have been knocked out in the first round; Mr Chirac, in turn, must keep his rightwing support. Caution - boring, voter-repelling, similarity-inspiring caution - is therefore the watchword for Mr Chirac and Mr Jospin. But then again, there is little point promising the moon when you are not sure if the upcoming general elections will allow your camp to form a parliamentary majority that can deliver it. Spot the difference Jospin · More local judges · More detention centres for minors · Ministry for national security · Mayors in charge of local security · Flexible retirement age · Combat joblessness among over-50s · Tax cuts, notably for lower earners · Lifelong employee training · More power to regions · Federation of nation states Chirac · More local courts · More detention centres he traditional shooting of songbirds for sport. Middle class women of a certain age patrol the streets with big hair and small dogs, guarding against any threat to their boutiques and chocolate shops. Some are wearing fur on a mild spring day. And Marie-France Buisson echoes what I have heard elsewhere - that there is little interest in the election because the two leading candidates, Lionel Jospin and Jacques Chirac, are two sides of the same coin."There is not much feeling of hope in France," she says, "nothing different is on offer anywhere." Even crime, the only issue which has even begun to register nationally, is not a real concern here. The apathy which has gripped the country to an unprecedented level is evident here, in the heart of France, as well as in the big cities. One woman who professes herself moderately interested in the election cannot name a single campaign issue. Another mentions crime, but says it's a question for France in general, not here. Abstention Many people are not planning to bother voting at all. Another theory offered to me is that France's relative prosperity has lulled voters into a kind of trance. "People everywhere are seeing the economy as more important than politics. If they have enough money they are happy," one public relations worker says. "Chirac was on the radio the other morning, and even I, as a former political journalist, wasn't the slightest bit interested." Widespread cynicism has also tainted public attitudes. The rot set in more than a decade ago after revelations of corruption in French political funding, and voters' trust has yet to be won back. At least here in central France people will admit that corruption bothers them - unlike in the north where everyone seems to accept it as part of life. But otherwise the election seems to be barely registering here. Vichy, if not where East meets West, is certainly where North meets South - it is in the frontier territory where the old language of the south, Oc, reached its most northern limits, and the French language petered out. At the crossroads of France, though, France does not seem to be at a crossroads. People are just getting on with their lives. This being Vichy, there's a lecture tonight on colonic irrigation. See you there at six. The presidential election campaign in France has started in earnest. A record number of 16 candidates - 12 men and four women - have gathered the 500 signatures from elected officials needed to run in the first round of voting on 21 April. The crowded field is a clear sign of ennui or annoyance with the leadership of those who have run France in "cohabitation" for the past five years. Quite a few outsiders fell at this first hurdle, failing to collect the necessary number of backers. They include at least one well-known name - Charles Pasqua, a former Gaullist who heads his own Eurosceptic party There were also some wacky political unknowns, such as a striptease artist and a dog called Saucisse (Sausage) which took four percent in a local election in Marseille last year. But the two big names are safely there. One is Jacques Chirac, the incumbent president and leader of the neo-Gaullist Rally for the Republic. He is described in the press as a "lovable rogue". The other is Lionel Jospin, the socialist prime minister and former Trotskyite who is trying to break out of his current image as a bit of a dry stick. Those two front-runners are almost sure to go through for a head-to-head duel in the second voting round on 5 May. Political extremes After them comes a gloriously mixed crew of hopefuls from the extreme poles of French politics and the deepest of France's backwoods. Among them are three who hope to win 10% or more of the total vote. One is the veteran right-winger and founder of the National Front, Jean-Marie Le Pen, now 73 years old. He is a former parachutist who is still hungry for victory. This is in spite of the severe damage to his image from a past conviction for assault against a political opponent, and the defection of many of his party members behind his much more suave rival Bruno Megret, who also made the list of candidates. The second is Jean-Pierre Chevenement, a former close ally of Lionel Jospin, who quit the cabinet in protest at plans (which never came to fruition) to let the island of Corsica go down the road towards self-government, amid a campaign of political violence by Corsican separatists. As a left-wing nationalist, he once looked like mounting a serious challenge for France's top job, but is now in danger of being lost in the crowd. The third plucky challenger generates strong passions both for and against her fiery brand of revolutionary communism. Arlette Laguiller of the Workers' Struggle Party uses the language of Marx and Trotsky to denounce "capitalist exploitation" and the "decadence" of French society. Fringe candidates If opinion polls are to be believed, these three iconoclasts might well pick up a third of the total vote in round one, in a stinging public rebuke to the mainstream parties and their candidates. Other fringe candidates with clear-cut goals include Jean Saint-Josse, head of the Hunting, Fishing, Nature and Tradition Party, who wants France to reject European Union rules limiting tRobert Hue, official candidate of the French Communist Party, is making his second stab at the presidency. Francois Bayou for the centre-right Union of French Democracy risks setting the seal on his party's decline. Radical Anglo-Saxon-style economic reform is on offer from Alain Madelin, a former minister who lacks a popular base for his Liberal Democracy party. Noel Mamere is holding high the banner of the Greens. Christiane Taubira, a radical deputy from French Guiana, is the only black candidate. Close race Some commentators deplore the high level of support for authoritarian or dogmatic leaders. Others rage at the "closed" political system which has produced numerous corruption scandals and a pair of front-runners who have been blamed for France's current state. Barring the unforeseen, the "small candidates" will all be eliminated in the first round. They could still tip the final outcome by urging their followers to back one or the other of the two big names. But it is unclear whether Mr Chirac or Mr Jospin will benefit more from such endorsements. The race between the two big candidates still looks very close indeed. Guardian Similarity breeds contempt of French voters Jon Henley in Paris Saturday April 6, 2002 The Guardian The constitutional council formally declared France's presidential race open at midnight yesterday just as polls projected that Lionel Jospin, the Socialist prime minister, would scrabble to a narrow second-round victory - by two to four points - over his conservative rival, the incumbent Jacques Chirac. More revealing, however, was the polls' confirmation that barely 40% of the French electorate is currently prepared to vote for one of the leading candidates in the first round ballot on April 21 - the lowest level of support for the two front-runners in French electoral history. The Socialists and the Gaullists, who with their respective allies have between them run France for more than 40 years, are apparently neither credible nor even distinguishable enough to prevent a dis illusioned electorate from voting for one of the 14 other candidates that the council announced had qualified for the first round. There are plenty of reasons for this. The two top contenders are depressingly familiar to French voters. Mr Chirac, 69, has been in the front row of French politics for four decades while Mr Jospin, 65, is a Socialist figurehead of many years' standing. Both have been around for long enough to have broken a lot of electoral promises. Inevitable The public is also weary of the sheer inevitability of this contest. The 1995 presidential race was also between Mr Chirac and Mr Jospin and the two men have been rehearsing for a repeat performance ever since the president rashly dissolved parliament in 1997, ushering in a Socialist-led government under Mr Jospin and con demning himself to five years of painful cohabitation. Added to the combination of two over-familiar candidates and a foregone conclusion to the first-round result (the progression of Mr Jospin and Mr Chirac to the second-round run-off on May 5) is the depressing similarity of the two main candidates' programmes. "There is a real problem in understanding the differences between Chirac and Jospin in this campaign," said one pollster, Philippe Méchet. "The campaign is confusing the voters. People are turning to anyone original, even if they're a Trotskyist." Arlette Laguiller, of the Workers' Struggle party, which preaches the dictatorship of the proletariat, is currently running equal third in first-round voting intentions. The similarities extend even to the titles of the two rivals' manifestos: Mr Chirac's, a 24-page brochure distributed to 12m people, is entitled "My commitment to France", while Mr Jospin's, a 40-page pamphlet in 8m copies, is called "I commit myself". Inside the covers, both men pledge to create a new ministry to combat France's rising crime rate and both promise to improve environmental protection, boost competitiveness, limit the negative effects of globalisation, cut taxes and reduce unemployment. Both also pledge - although in such vague terms as to be all but incomprehensible - to do something about perhaps the most pressing problem facing France: its pension system, which relies on an ever-falling number of tax-paying workers to pay for an ever-rising number of retirees. Overall, Mr Jospin is looking to please the workers with extra training, a back-to-work deal for the over-50s and lower taxes for the lowest paid, while Mr Chirac is after their bosses, with cuts in income tax and social charges as well as extra help to create a million new firms and a relaxation of the 35-hour working week. Unrealistic But even where the platforms do differ significantly, the candidates' campaign promises appear unrealistic: Mr Chirac's critics say he will need at least €50bn (£30bn) to fund his plan to cut taxes by 33% over the next five years, while Mr Jospin's opponents wonder where the money will come from to create his promised 900,000 new jobs. The main explanation for such strangely insipid and similar programmes is simple: with the French electorate evenly divided between them, the two candidates know they have to appeal primarily to the centre ground. That is, for example, why Mr Jospin mentions the word Socialist only once in his manifesto, and has even said his platform is "not a Socialist one". Mr Chirac, on the other hand, vaunts such traditional leftwing values as solidarity and concern for the environment. But while striving to appeal to the middle, both men are also aware that they cannot go so off-message as to offend their own camps. Mr Jospin must keep Greens and Communists on his side because he needs their votes once their own candidates have been knocked out in the first round; Mr Chirac, in turn, must keep his rightwing support. Caution - boring, voter-repelling, similarity-inspiring caution - is therefore the watchword for Mr Chirac and Mr Jospin. But then again, there is little point promising the moon when you are not sure if the upcoming general elections will allow your camp to form a parliamentary majority that can deliver it. Spot the difference Jospin · More local judges · More detention centres for minors · Ministry for national security · Mayors in charge of local security · Flexible retirement age · Combat joblessness among over-50s · Tax cuts, notably for lower earners · Lifelong employee training · More power to regions · Federation of nation states Chirac · More local courts · More detention centres he traditional shooting of songbirds for sport.
 1
Titre Par Date
La chambre des secrets Potter Tue, November 30, 1999 0:00
Je vais faire une super blague : Qu'est ce qui est jaune , petit et qui fait peur ? REPONSE: C'est un poussin avec une mitraillette
 3
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